Monday, February 21, 2005

Musings from a jet lagged soul...

Having just returned from a two week holiday in England, I find myself waking at 3am every morning and unable to go back to sleep... jet lag is pulling me hither, thither and everywhither, and the cream as it enters my coffee is utterly fascinating...

At least some good is coming of this sleep shifting - firstly, I have seen 5am in a fully coherent state for possibly the first time ever. The quiet, the shrinking shadows, the shimmering faintness... strange somehow, as if we're not supposed to see it. Secondly, my thought processes seem to be sharper and less fettered. I awoke this morning and let my mind trace the gentle splays of moonlight on my walls, and I realised with the clarity and of a hammer stroke that one day, everyone who walks the earth will be dead. All the philosophical posturings, the debates, the arguments and chase will amount to nothing. Suddenly commercialism and consumerism started to make a kind of sense - we innately fear mortality, and we buy baubles and decor to attempt to give our lives purpose. Whereas last year I would have bristled when an old lady pushed infront of me in Mr Donut, I am resolved to welcome such a thing now. We learn from what we experience, so naturally we should experience what we learn.

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