Thursday, April 20, 2006

Random t-shirtage in Kyushu...

I love Engrish, the grammatically awful version of English that adourns tshirts, pencil cases and almost every other object here in Japan. However, sometimes it can be a bit inappropriate. Take yesterday for example. Teaching a 13 year old girl, I couldn't help but notice the 5 inch letters on her t-shirt, proclaiming "BE OPTIMISTIC, DON'T BE SHY, SOW YOUR SEED!"

A little unsettling, I'm sure you'll agree...

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Crazy TV..

Karaoke is massive here in Japan - but not in the drunken-corner-of-a-seedy-pub-with-loads-of-strangers-watching style of England. Here it is taken very seriously, as the seemingly endless TV shows around New Year and the thousands of hotels dedicated to the pasttime show.

However, it unsurprisingly sometimes gets painted with the zany crazy brush that is Japanese TV, as shown last night. Essentially, comedians appear dressed as their chosen idol, and have to sing their chosen song, with an electronic rating popping up on the screen every 10 seconds or so. If at any time the ratings drops below 8.0, bright lights flash and icy water falls on the singer. Not surprising really, but what struck me as odd was the ridiculous score of 9.8 given to one of the contestants, who was little more than a screaming man in a ill-fitting school uniform...

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Random advertising in Japan...



With the ultra harsh penalties imposed on any graffitti artists, you'd really think they'd take the time to spell check their vandalism before they did it, wouldn't you? And as for the second picture...

A first time for everything...


Last week saw the first time I have ever seven balled someone in pool (that is, from the break going on to pot all of my balls and then the black), and Ben gladly posed by the table to mark the moment.

I should have known that my good form would desert me the next time we played, with Ben nailing a nervy black to take the match 13-12 at a shade past midnight...

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Wrong

I've just spent the last half hour watching a TV show about those pre-teen girls dancing competitions...

young girls in tears because they can't perform a difficult move... being completely exhausted every day... a lot of them being forced into it because their mothers wanted to do it when they were young, or because they think it is cute... the ridiculous costumes and saccharine forced cuteness... the winners being handed garish medals by a man in a pink dress...

wrong on so many levels...

Monday, April 10, 2006

Things of note that happened on my England trip


Not in England but at Hong Kong airport - and just look at the haircut on display... talk about clinging to the belief that you are not balding...


Almost impossible to convey in a mere photo, the exquisite skyline of Hong Kong island was just as spectacular as it had been on my last visit in 2000, despite the pollution...


The ceiling of the airport (yeah, boring, but it was the first thing I saw after waking after a glorious 2 hour crash, having had almost no sleep since Japan and a terrible fever)...


Sums up the state of England pretty well really...


At a family lunch in a big hotel, my grandma proceeds to knock back the red wine like there's no tomorrow, culminating in her pinching a man's bottom (not my Grandad's)...


Arguably the best part of the trip was visiting my other Grandma's house, where we played scrabble, wrestled with her many wooden puzzle games and ate our weight in cheese and biscuits and piccalily and home made pickled onions with chutney. We went there four times.


It was whilst at Grandma's that I realised that she has an original dansette record player, which is like something straight out of a 60s living room. Great sound too, especially considering the small speakers...


When we visited my dad, we found out that he lives in the oldest house in the area (built in 1310 and retaining a lot of the original structure). My wife and I stayed there for a night, and whilst it was a good experience, the lack of heating and hot water made it a bit unappealing for the long haul...


On the same night, my Grandad (or Father Christmas as Yoko calls him) took us out to the local Japanese restaurant. Despite the fact that he harrangued the waitresses to death and had to physically escorted from the premises at midnight, it was lots of fun, and he expressed a wish to come and visit us in Japan (grief... will Japan ever be ready for such a visitation?...)


At my dad's house, there were tens of boxes stacked from floor to ceiling with all of my various books and videos collected over the years... the only one that I wanted to bring back to Japan was Rainbow Six, and lo and behold it happened to be in the top of the first box. It's so satisfying when things go in your favour for a change...


Whilst at my Auntie's house, my cousing Tom took a phone call from a mobile phone company trying to get my Uncle to upgrade his service. With my Uncle still at work, Tom and my brother Oliver proceeded to string the hapless staff member along, inventing phone plans and somehow managing to get a ridiculously cheap, minutes-heavy deal before hanging up and getting back to their alcohol...


Staying with the little brother theme, this was the monstrous piece of haddock that he procured from the chipshop (yes, it really was that big)...


And here is a photo of me, feeling pretty heavy after tucking into my much smaller supper...


Look at this - outside a new shopping mall in Norwich, they powers that be have not only ploughed straight through a graveyard, but used the stones as decorative edging... unbelievable...


We were persuaded to visit a new chocolate stall on the market, and the owner was bang on the money when he said that his fruit and chocolate skewers were messy...


It had been long on the cards, and staying with Diamond and Freyja for a couple of days allowed Diamond and Ken a long overdue chess match, complete with a dinosaur standing in for an errant knight... it was a close game, and Diamond had the iniative and an early point lead, but misjudged a queen exchange and soon resigned...


There was a reunion of sorts, as the old high school gang assembled and headed to an Indian restaurant in the city, allowing me my first Indian meal for more than 2 years... opting for the lamb vindaloo, I wasn't disappointed...


Diamond loves it when a plan comes together...