Tuesday, July 19, 2005

JAPANESE JAMES - bmx stunt rider and acrobat

He came, he saw... he fucked up on national TV!

My hat goes off to JAMES - part-time bmx stunt rider and illusionist-cum-acrobat. In an incredibly camp performance, even for Japanese entertainment TV, he entered from stage right, waving to the crowd before attempting to jump the bike onto the stage (he nearly fell and had to use his right foot to prevent a tumble). He then rode around his specially made box (purple, emblazoned with a big silver JAMES logo), and then it really went wrong. Juggling three clubs whilst balancing on his bike, he dropped one and had to start the whole thing again. Then, having successfully managed the juggling, he mistimed his jump from his bicycle and fell on it. Next he revealed a small silver carry-box and did a little bit of vintage I'm-trying-to-move-this-case-but-it-won't-move visual comedy. Then he opened the case to reveal a ridiculously small bicycle, which he then rode through a small gate. Cheers James, I haven't laughed like that since high school.

After JAMES came a lady gymnast doing that circusy thing of climbing up lengths of red silk and balancing on them. With JAMES still in mind, I thought she might hang herself, but fortunately she was faultless.

And next came another strange guy... (oh yeah, I must apologise for the poor photo in this entry - I had to take it with my cell phone camera in a darkened room whilst laughing). So anyway, the second guy. He wore a lot of make up and a silver foil suit with a sky blue furry front. Can you guess what he did? (aside from disappointing his traditionally minded father, no doubt).

He balanced on pieces of wood, which were balanced on cylinders, like mini see-saws. He was actually really good, and only had a hiccup when he tried to do a handstand on four of these see-saws.

After this lad came a very odd American. I wish I had a photo, but he wasn't on long enough for me to catch him, and anyway I doubt whether my photo would have done him justice. He was dressed in blue, exactly like cousin Scampi from The Sooty Show. He wore Peter Parker glasses and had the biggest unicycle you will ever see. With the aid of a helper from the audience, he clambered up the cycle and began balancing. He put on a hat that was a bubble-blowing toy plane on a string, and as it spun around and spat bubbles, he started juggling... KNIVES! Real knives! And Crocodile Dundee style blades at that! I was seriously impressed, as were JAMES, the circus girl and the silver-furry guy.

I have no idea what this TV is called, and whether or not it is serious or a deliberate comedy farce. I don't want to know, for then the magic might be lost...


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