My dream school (part 1)

Headmaster: Sid James

Who better to run a school? Everyday would seem like a holiday with Sid in charge. Headmaster's assembly would be a scream, summons to his office would be welcome, and school outings would be legendary.








Deputy Headmistress: Joan "the freak" Ferguson

Although Sid would be more comfortable with a young, attractive right hand (in the mould of, say, Valerie Leon), someone of the calibre of "the freak" would be required to ensure that the school runs efficiently. A strict disciplinarian, Ferguson would run a very tight ship, but Sid would still have the final say.